I enjoyed reading the article “Is Homeschooling Sexist?” on the Home Education Magazine website (2000) because it gave me clarity on an issue I’ve been pondering for a while.    

In the article, writer Laurae Lyster Mensh asks a question relevant to the  majority of home-educating families:

“With mom almost always at home and dad at work, what kind of message does it send to our daughters? To our sons?”

I’ve asked myself a similar question often throughout my years as a full-time home-maker and now home-educator.  Having been delighted to leave an unfulfilling career as a lawyer when I had my first child, I was thrilled to discover, shortly after the birth of my youngest, a way of earning money and being of service that’s a perfect match for my values and skills when I trained and began working part time as a cognitive hypnotherapist.

Although I don’t currently work with many clients, those I do manage to fit in leave me with a feeling of energy and upliftment that comes from doing something that is a true calling. I also feel satisfied knowing that as the years go on and my children become more independent and ultimately leave home, I’ll be able to expand my therapy practice and develop my skills and experience.  

My husband, meanwhile, commutes from Monday to Friday to a  full-time job that keeps us in a very comfortable  lifestyle but which deprives him of much time with our children for five days a week.  

This certainly isn’t something I’d wish for either of my children if and when they become parents.  So what is the alternative?

I think the answer lies in the kind of people we’re encouraging our children to be: free-minded, creative, life-long learners,  with all the skills they need to support themselves and their families doing work they love, on terms set by them.  

One way this might look would be for my grown-up children to share with their respective partners both the privilege and responsibility of raising and educating their children, and the opportunity to do meaningful work.  It’s nice to imagine that, by virtue of who they are and the kind of education they’re experiencing, neither my daughter nor my son will struggle to  balance work and family life, but instead will find creative solutions that allow both them and their children thrive on the arrangement.