Tag Archives: values

Centerparcs

Random Ramblings, ,

I spent this week at Centerparcs, Longleat Forest, with C, J, my mum and my nephew S (3).  In retrospect I realise I didn’t go into  it with high expectations of my own enjoyment, seeing it more as a holiday for the children and an opportunity for our extended family to spend some time together.  But I am delighted to report that I can have fun outdoors in England in February!

Biking around the forest was surprisingly enjoyable, C and J relishing the independence the car-free environment gave them.  I smiled as I witnessed their pleasure at being responsible for their own bicylces, finding “parking spaces” and securing them with their own mini combination locks.

We spent a large part of each day at the “Sub Tropical Swimming Paradise”, where we hurled ourselves down the Wild Water Rapids in various poses (C commented, “I wonder why they even bother putting up those ‘feet first’ signs?”), saved the planet as underwater superheroes in the lazy river, and launched ourselves at speed down waterslides.

C and I enjoyed spectacular views of the forest as we challenged ourselves on an “aerial adventure” assault course through the tree tops, our adrenalin levels peaking at the “vertical drop” finish, where we jumped off a platform some 30 ft in the air.  Luckily a clever mechanism of ropes attached to our harnesses gently broke our fall at ground level, allowing our wobbly legs to carry us to nearby Starbucks for well-earned hot chocolates.  (J is willing himself to grow 4cm in time for our next visit so that he too can swing from ropes among the pines.)

Another mother-daughter highlight was the evening C and I went to the pool on our own.  The rapids at night are something else – the gushing water illuminated by a dazzling array of lights, twinkling through the clouds of steam as warm water meets cold night air.  Add in the fact that as you enjoy the view your body is sliding and spinning at speed through a series of whirlpools and slides, and it’s a pretty stimulating sensory experience!

I left Longleat with the same combination of pleasantly aching muscles and high spirits as after a skiing holiday, and spent the two hour drive home reflecting on what had contributed most to my enjoyment.  During our days in the forest the children and I were mostly engaged in the same activities (usually me playing alongside them).  I spent more time outside than usual, and I was much more physically active than at home.  Also, although we mostly cooked and ate in our villa, I wasn’t spending large amounts of time organising “stuff” as I do at home as part of running a household.

It’s now a day since we got back, and I’ve identified the birth in me of a new desire (unrelated to my delicious dream last night about Jack Davenport): I want to bring more of the elements I enjoyed at Centerparcs into my everyday life.  At the moment I’m in the “knowing what I don’t want” phase – the “asking” referred to in the Hicks’ “Ask And It Is Given“;  I know I don’t want to be surrounded by so much “stuff”, that I want to have more fun with my children, and I want to spend more time in nature.

I know from experience that having identified my desire, my role in its creation is now over.  My only work now is to be in wellbeing; in wellbeing lies everything I desire, in wellbeing I feel no lack, and in wellbeing anything is possible.  Watch this space!

Anniversary

Random Ramblings,

I met my husband 13 years ago today, in a tiny, dark nightclub in the West End of London.

I was on my own, having left my friends in another club in Chelsea (awful music), in search of tunes I could enjoying dancing to.  DH was with his friend, A.  Because I was on my own, I looked to join a sane-looking group on the dance floor to avoid attention from sleazy men, and so husband-to-be, A and I spent several happy hours jumping up and down together to Pulp, Shed 7, James and the Levellers.

Afterwards I suggested that the three of us go for a coffee and it was there, at 3am in a late-night cafe on the Charing Cross Road, that I first glimpsed the brilliance and humour that caused me to fall in love with my future husband.  (It was his kindness, which I saw later, that sealed the deal, but that’s another story.)

Later, as we shivered on Oxford Street waiting for night buses back to our respective homes, we discovered that we were both moving house the next day (closer into London – me to Little Venice, DH to Wimbledon).  That we had each chosen to dance til the early hours on the day before moving was not only an auspicious synchronicity but also, in retrospect, a promising sign of shared values.  Thirteen years on we have a few more responsibilities, but making time for what we enjoy remains high up on the list of what’s important to us not only as a couple, but now, as a family.

C's first eBay auction

Art For Sale

Art & Crafts, Random Ramblings, Unschooling,

C(7) is a prolific creator of every kind of art.

Yesterday she decided to “make a picture to sell”.  I don’t think her motivation was financial. Birthday and pocket money tends to accumulate in piggy banks and purses around her bedroom. Perhaps she wanted to test the market?

On hearing C’s intention, her father and I exchanged furtive anxious glances and then smiled encouragingly at our sweet daughter.

“Who would you like to invite to buy it?”, I asked.

C looked around, scanning for purchasers.

“The neighbours?”, she suggested.

Hearing this, even I, enthusiastic proponent of  encouraging our children explore and experience the world without imposing the restrictions of my own hang-ups, felt a bit panicky.

And that’s how my daughter’s beautiful, Beautiful Flower picture was listed for auction on  eBay.

C's first eBay auction
“Beautiful Flower”

Is Homeschooling Sexist?

Random Ramblings,

I enjoyed reading the article “Is Homeschooling Sexist?” on the Home Education Magazine website (2000) because it gave me clarity on an issue I’ve been pondering for a while.    

In the article, writer Laurae Lyster Mensh asks a question relevant to the  majority of home-educating families:

“With mom almost always at home and dad at work, what kind of message does it send to our daughters? To our sons?”

I’ve asked myself a similar question often throughout my years as a full-time home-maker and now home-educator.  Having been delighted to leave an unfulfilling career as a lawyer when I had my first child, I was thrilled to discover, shortly after the birth of my youngest, a way of earning money and being of service that’s a perfect match for my values and skills when I trained and began working part time as a cognitive hypnotherapist.

Although I don’t currently work with many clients, those I do manage to fit in leave me with a feeling of energy and upliftment that comes from doing something that is a true calling. I also feel satisfied knowing that as the years go on and my children become more independent and ultimately leave home, I’ll be able to expand my therapy practice and develop my skills and experience.  

My husband, meanwhile, commutes from Monday to Friday to a  full-time job that keeps us in a very comfortable  lifestyle but which deprives him of much time with our children for five days a week.  

This certainly isn’t something I’d wish for either of my children if and when they become parents.  So what is the alternative?

I think the answer lies in the kind of people we’re encouraging our children to be: free-minded, creative, life-long learners,  with all the skills they need to support themselves and their families doing work they love, on terms set by them.  

One way this might look would be for my grown-up children to share with their respective partners both the privilege and responsibility of raising and educating their children, and the opportunity to do meaningful work.  It’s nice to imagine that, by virtue of who they are and the kind of education they’re experiencing, neither my daughter nor my son will struggle to  balance work and family life, but instead will find creative solutions that allow both them and their children thrive on the arrangement.